OOPS!!
by
Colin McNaughton
It was the same ol story. Mr. Wolf was hungry. Mr. Wolf was very hungry, and Mr. Wolf had his eye on Preston Pig.
Mr. Wolf was hungry for three very good reasons:
1. Mr. Plimp, the shopkeeper, had banned him from his shop for eating the cutomers.
2. Mr. Plump, the park keeper, had banned him from the park for picnicking on the visitors.
3. Miss Thump, the school-teacher, had banned him from the school grounds for snacking on the students
"Don't look at me like that, I'm the Big Bad Wolf! It's my job to be nasty. These stories would be pretty boring if I was good, wouldn't they?"
Suddenly!
There was a huge crash. "Oops!" said Preston.
"You silly pudding head!" said Preston's mom. "Get out from under my feet and take that basket of food to your granny's. She's not well." "Yes, Mom," said Preston. "And tell Granny I'll be over later to chop her some wood, " said Preston's dad. "Yes Dad," said Preston. "And put your coat on," said Preston's mom. "Yes, Mom," said Preston. "And don't slam the door," said Preston's dad, "the chimney pot is loose....
Slam!
went the door. "Opps!" went Preston.
"Hmmm...red hood, basket of food, Granny's house? That reminds me of a story, but which one?" said Mr. Wolf---- just before the chimney pot landed on his head.
Mr. Wolf picked himself up and follwed Preston. "I'll take a short cut through the woods and get ahead of him," said Mr. Wolf.
But Mr. Wolf did not like the woods. Woods were full of nasty, itchy, scratchy, bitey things.
"I wish I could think which story that red hood reminds me of," said Mr. Wolf crossly as he pulled thorns out of his bottom.
"I know it isn't The Three Little Pigs," said Mr. Wolf. "But I do like that story. Especially the part when the wolf eats the three little pigs and escapes. Well, that's how MY mom used to tell it!"
Mr. Wolf tried some cunning wolf tricks to catch Preston, but he didn't have much luck.
Cunning Wolf Trick No.1
The old "Banana Skin" ploy.
Cunning Wolf Trick No.1
The old "Dig-a-Deep-Pit" dodge.
Cunning Wolf Trick No.1
The old "IF-All-Else-Fails-Bash-'Em-on-the-head-with-a-big-stick" plan.
Preston reached Granny's house safely. Mr. Wolf was fed up. He was hot and sticky, scratched, stung, and bitten. "And I still can't remeber that rotten story!" said. Mr. Wolf.
Suddenly!
There was a huge crash. "Oops!" said Preston.
Mr. Wolf sneaked up to the window and this is what he heard.....
"What big eyes you've got Granny!" said Preston. "All the better to see you smash my teapot!" said Granny.
"What big ears you've got Granny!" said Preston. "All the better to hear you smash my cups!" said Granny.
"What big teeth you've got, Granny!" said Preston. "All the better to gnash when you smash my sugar bowl! said Granny.
"Hey," cried Mr. Wolf, "those are MY lines! I rember that story now. It's Little Red Riding Hood." Mr. Wolf leapped through the window, tied Granny up, and stuffed Preston in a sack.
"Now, let me think," said Mr. Wolf. "How does that story end?" He was just opening the door when he remebered...
OOPS!
said Mr. Wolf.
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